Talking about sex and boundaries: does preventing sexual and dating violence among boys work?

Since #MeToo, sexually transgressive behaviour and the role of boys and men have been under scrutiny. That is why education also focuses on prevention and offers various prevention programs. Boys in pre-vocational secondary education (VMBO/MBO), in residential youth care and boys with a mild intellectual disability, are at greater risk: they are more often perpetrators and victims of sexually transgressive behaviour. “These young people often grow up in vulnerable situations and have more difficulty interpreting social signals correctly,” Verbeek explains. “They are more easily influenced by peer pressure and sometimes find it more difficult to set boundaries.”

Boys can be either perpetrators or victims (or both)

Boys are mainly seen as possible perpetrators of transgressive behaviour, but her dissertation shows that they can also be victims. And striking: of the boys who had committed sexually transgressive behaviour, a significant number had also been victims themselves. Think, for example, of showing or sharing nude photos, kissing without consent or persuading someone to perform sexual acts.

Now I have learned: yes, you have to know that the other person likes something different than you and that they understand what you want and you know what they like. That also… You also agree with it and don't just do it or something.”

Boy, practical education (14)

Her research results emphasise again that it is essential to discuss this topic. Previous research (which Verbeek bundled in a literature study) shows that these programs offer promising results and can reduce transgressive behaviour. A well-known example is the Coaching Boys into Men program in the United States. However, the existing prevention programs often do not sufficiently connect with the experiences of all young people, for example, young people with mild intellectual disabilities. Verbeek: “These young people have more difficulty with abstract concepts, and the programs are quite linguistic. That makes it more difficult to translate the material to their own lives.”

Customized prevention programs

The PhD candidate investigated two prevention programmes developed by Rutgers, the Expertise Centre for sexuality, which were adapted to the target group: one aimed at boys in pre-vocational secondary education (VMBO)/intermediate vocational education (MBO) or in residential youth care (Make a Move), and one for boys with a mild intellectual disability (Make a Move+). The language in these programs has been simplified, visual support is used, and more repetition of core messages is added. The participants learn about mutual consent, social pressure and the consequences of transgressive behaviour.

The sessions were observed for the research, participants completed questionnaires, and both participants and trainers were interviewed. The boys often appeared very positive and were happy they had followed the programme. They also enjoyed talking about the subject in a group. “We also asked the boys in advance what they wanted to learn. Many boys said: ‘I just want to learn how girls think about certain things’ or ‘how I can approach a girl’. Really in a vulnerable way.”

Measured effectiveness of programs appears limited

Despite the enthusiasm, the measured effects of the programs turned out to be limited. At Make a Move+, the researchers saw no significant differences in improving the intended outcomes compared to young people who had not followed the program. At Make a Move, they did see substantial effects. This program seemed effective in improving resistance to peer pressure and reducing rape myths. These are, for example, myths such as: ‘If someone is raped, it is because they did not say no clearly enough.’ Or: ‘If you wear a short skirt, you are asking for it.’” 

“I don't think I would get caught up in all cases, but I think I can now bring it up more easily for myself, that you think 'this is peer pressure'” 

Boy, youth care (17)

There are several possible reasons for the limited (measurable) effectiveness. For example, the programs were often not fully implemented as intended: sessions were usually shortened, or parts were skipped due to lack of time or low concentration of the boys. An important lesson is that ninety minutes is too long for these target groups. “Some parts did not work in practice, such as an exercise that I had high expectations of, but that did not work. The boys had to use a colouring page and markers to indicate where they did or did not want to be touched and where they would like to touch someone else. But some boys found it uncomfortable.”

Talking about sex is no small matter

Nevertheless, Verbeek is optimistic about the potential of these types of prevention programs. For this study alone, fifteen intended program outcomes were measured, which is a lot, so her advice is to apply more focus based on theory and limit herself to several goals. It is, therefore, not self-evident for the PhD candidate to immediately achieve all the intended results: "You put a group of adolescent boys together to talk about sex. That is quite a lot, and it requires a good setup and talented trainers to guide this in the right direction. 'It is super important that we as researchers, program developers and the target groups (trainers and boys) continue to work together. We can all contribute in our way to the sexual health of these boys and their potential partners. Our research shows how important it is to join forces and learn from each other."